grief is a four letter word

you see, lately, I’ve been mourning.
not the loss of love, but the loss of life -
a life envisioned and executed to near perfection.
but perfection does not exist. it cannot exist.
all that can, is balance. 

‘cause you have to take the good with the bad; the beautiful with the ugly; the light with the shadow, and all of that. there’s no escaping it, avoiding it, evading it.
there’s only going through it. one step at a time; one stage at a time.

sure, there are words that attempt to encapsulate grief. and maybe those who have feel it as viscerally as you do, as often as you do, as intensely as you do, might understand. And maybe even those who haven’t, just might. but understanding is not the same as accepting. and acceptance comes at a cost. the cost of losing yourself.

‘cause you see, when you face loss - any kind of loss - the biggest thing you lose is yourself.  and that’s what really drives you mad. you don’t realise it immediately, but when you mourn the death of a relationship, what you’re really mourning, is the loss of the person it made you. and try as you may, that person is never coming back.

but that’s a good thing, y'know. cause it means there’s more room now. room for a new love, room for a new life, room for a new person. 

just do yourself a small favour, and for a while, if only a little while - let that person be you.